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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871822">You Will Betray Me, Baby</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertDraggon/pseuds/DesertDraggon'>DesertDraggon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Game Is Glitched Verse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Half-Life, Half-Life but the AI is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Injury, M/M, Night Terrors, Shoulder Massage, Sweet Voice, enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers, hurt comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:53:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,927</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871822</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertDraggon/pseuds/DesertDraggon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Benrey eases Gordon out of the pain his missing arm is giving him. They reconcile their broken hearts in the process.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Game Is Glitched Verse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774858</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>159</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Will Betray Me, Baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title is from the song Betray by Son Lux.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite not needing to sleep, Benrey still enjoyed the act of sleeping, or at least just… zoning out to the quiet sound of everyone snoring horrendously. Occasionally one of the scientists will mumble. Tommy sighs, says something about soda or Sunkist. Bubby growls, or whines like he's got to take out the trash in the middle of a pvp match. Dr. Cooker doesn't usually talk, but sometimes he blurts out the beginnings of "Hello Gordon!" But it cuts off before it can startle anyone. </p><p>Speaking of the physicist…</p><p>Gordon always slept horribly. He'd wake up, huff, flip over, pass back out, repeat. Occasionally he'd mention Joshua, or one of the Science Team. Even his name graced his lips without malice… mostly with though. </p><p>Sometimes though, he screamed. </p><p>It would start out a whimper, tossing and turning, heavy breathing. His legs would kick like he was trying desperately to get away from something. If he didn't wake up, his shouts would get louder and louder. Eventually he would wake up the others. </p><p>Tonight was one of those nights. It started again; the shivers, clutching at the concrete, panic. Benrey’s eyes slid across the room to watch Gordon twitch. He frowned. Normally he felt nothing, just letting Gordon do his thing. He’d just scream at him like usual. Now though, he felt the heavy lead weight of guilt in his gut. The physicist had just lost his arm, been ‘betrayed’ by the entire team. Including Benrey…</p><p>He didn’t tell them to do that. They shouldn’t have hurt him like this. They were just supposed to knock him out and take him. That’s how the game always worked that’s how-</p><p>“No!” he had been lost in his own thoughts and Gordon’s night terrors had gotten worse. Benrey sat up with a groan and worked his way over to the man who tossed about on the floor like he was on a bed of hot coals. </p><p>Gently he set a heavy hand on Gordon’s shoulder, holding him still quite efficiently. “Hey… Freeman. Wake up.” he didn’t bother with his teasing nicknames. He wanted the guy to calm down, not get worse. “Gordon.”</p><p>Gordon’s chest raised as he took a deep breath, shuddering on the exhale. His eyes flicked open, wild and desperate. In pain. He finally made eye contact with Benrey’s figure and jolted, scrambling away as best he could with only one arm. As his back hit the wall he gripped his bandaged arm, shaking and panting in fear. Benrey could watch the beads of sweat travel down Gordon’s face. </p><p>“Hey. It’s ok.” Benrey tried, sitting on his calves with his hands in his lap. Gordon was afraid of him, he knew this all too well, he had to look wimpy, like he’d be in a shit sitch if he wanted to try anything. </p><p>The physicist stared at him for a little while longer, his eyes slowly clearing up, the fight and flight leaving him an anxious mess. “Fuck…” he muttered as he looked away, green eyes closing so tight he looked as if he aged 40 years in a second. </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>Benrey let him be, just sat there watching his shoulders rise and fall with each breath. His panic was evaporating bit by bit. Now he just shook, tired. It was a while before either of them moved. Benrey almost thought Gordon fell back asleep, but his head lifted to glance at Benrey again, probably feeling his eyes boring into him. </p><p> </p><p>He looked at his dirty hands instead. </p><p>“Hey…”</p><p>“Yeah?” the sudden address surprised him, but Benrey took it in stride. </p><p>“Thanks for waking me up from… that.” he choked on the last word, his voice hoarse already, but it sounded like he was genuine at least.</p><p>“Yeah…” Benrey said lamely. </p><p>It was quiet again. Benrey started to lie back down on the ground to ‘sleep’. Once he was settled, he heard the soft sound of Gordon wincing in pain. He tilted his head to look back at the man, finding him curled inwards, clutching his injured arm. Gordon’s teeth clenched so hard he could almost hear them grinding. </p><p>“You ok?”</p><p>“Fuck off, no I’m not ok.” </p><p>Hm, what did he expect, he shrugged and rolled back onto all fours to crawl over to Gordon. He didn’t know what the fuck to do. He wasn’t a doctor. He couldn’t ‘help’. But… maybe… he could just sooth the pain a little? He could do that, right? </p><p>“Let me take your suit off-”</p><p>“Oh FUCK no.” Gordon spat, glaring at the alien. </p><p>“N-Not like… that. Just the hard bits. I wanna help with your arm, dude.” he supplied, hoping he looked sincere despite the stab in his chest that came with the reaction. </p><p>“No. Not unless you tell me, in detail, what the fuck you plan on doing, dude.” spit flew as he finished the sentence. Benrey sighed and nodded in agreement. “Ok.”</p><p>“I’m just gonna like… give you a shoulder massage?” Gordon’s expression fell into a look that screamed ‘oh fucking sure dude, sure you are, are you fucking with me dude???’ and Benrey backtracked. “I- I mean it. I’ve got big strong hands, you know that.” he chuckled nervously. “I used to help my man Josh when his gamer hands got crampy.”</p><p>Gordon huffed, a silent laugh. It took him a few before he seemed to relax at the idea of letting Benrey get his hands on him, but he seemed to nod absently, pushing away from the wall. Releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Benrey scooted closer, helping Gordon turn around to face him. The armor came off easy. His hands had it memorized by now, with how many times he’d… well. That wasn’t going to happen much more now, anyways.</p><p>“Want to keep the suit on?” Benrey asked gently. The suit was going to be hard to work through, but he’d do it if it made Gordon more comfortable with this. Gordon simply shook his head, using his good hand to unzip the top half of his suit. Benrey gently pulled the shoulders down, and off, careful around the tender wound that made up Gordon’s right. </p><p>“Ok… I’m gonna start now.” He gave a warning as he rubbed his hands together to heat them up a little. Tenderly, he slid his hands over the muscle of Gordon’s shoulder, the man flinching still. It wasn’t because of his touch though, Benrey could feel the tendons under t-shirt and flesh. They were knotted so horribly, twisting and twitching much like the man himself did when he was sleeping. </p><p>Benrey could almost feel the pain Gordon felt just through this simple touch. </p><p>Slowly he added more pressure, his fingers gliding across the skin and working into the muscles. It hurt. A lot. Gordon was tensing so bad it was almost impossible to get his shoulder to start relaxing, instead of trying to connect to a piece of his body that was no longer there. </p><p>“Gordon, you want something to relax?” he was out of weed, unfortunately. He’d lost that a while back and damn did it make him antsy, but he could at least supply Gordon with some good old fashioned Sweet Voice. “Y-Yeah. Fuck.” </p><p>Gently, he had Gordon turn to him just enough that when he sang, the notes would flow directly into Gordon’s mouth. At least, that’s what he intended to do. But when he opened his mouth, only a few notes of calming blue floated forth before their lips met and the tune changed pitch. </p><p>Gordon’s eyes were closed, and he pressed forwards, letting Benrey hold him. Once the shock wore off, the alien leaned into the kiss himself. He felt pricks at the corners of his eyes, feeling the wet of tears begin to swell. When Gordon pulled away, he looked calmer… cheeks tinged in red. His expression changed, when he noticed Benrey’s tears, and he turned to face him fully. </p><p>His hand came to his face, rough thumb wiping away the tears. It was tender, and warm, and held none of the anger Benrey felt was deserved. Was needed. He turned away from Gordon, brows furrowed in conflict. </p><p>“Benrey…” it came out more like a breath than a spoken word. Benrey guiltily looked up at him. “I’m… sorry. I just…” the guard let him work out what he wanted to say. Gordon was anything but short spoken. </p><p>“What happened… it was really fucked up. It hurt, not just physically but it broke my heart.” he paused to gather himself. “I trusted you all and… to have to go back to trusting that you’ll protect me after…” Gordon shrugged his lame shoulder. “It’s hard.”</p><p>“I know. You don’t have to I… I don’t deserve it.” </p><p>“Benrey…” it was exasperated this time, and he grabbed the guard’s jaw to force him to look him in the eyes. God he loved Gordon’s eyes… “I want to. I want to trust you again. I… I love-”</p><p>“No.” Benrey stopped him right there. They promised not to use that word. The pain that came with that word wasn’t bearable. Not even by him. </p><p>“I love you, Benrey.” Gordon spoke firmly, not letting Benrey shrink away. “I fucking love you. I love you with every polygon of my stupid videogame body. I love you with my real human heart that’s trapped in here.” it was Gordon’s turn to cry. </p><p>Benrey choked back a sob. “You can’t- you can’t just… you can’t love me. It won’t work, stupid.” he didn’t resist when Gordon pulled him into a hug. They sat there, holding one another, sobbing. </p><p>“I don’t care.” the physicist finally stated, breaking the silence. “I don’t fucking care if that’s not how the game works. Newsflash, asshole, the game doesn’t work anymore. We’re the god given proof of that.” Benrey pulled back to give the man a pitiful look. </p><p>“We’re going to break the shit out of this game until it lets us all out of here, without you having to be the bad guy.” ‘Without us having to kill you.’ went without saying. </p><p>Benrey just sagged, shaking his head. “It ain’t gonna work, Gordo.”</p><p>“Well then we’ll just have to be trapped in this hell together now, won’t we.” When their eyes met, they were both grinning. It was a sad grin, but a smile nonetheless. </p><p>“Do… do you still want me to… help with your shoulder?” he felt small, asking that. Benrey didn’t know why. He was coded to be so big. Strong, smart, powerful. But Gordon’s existence had dissolved his pixels into a pile of error codes. He made him want to be good. Want something other than this damn game.</p><p>“Yeah- yeah. It hurts a lot less now, I think the voice helped.” sluggish, Gordon turned back around, backing up more now, so he practically sat in Benrey’s lap. Benrey smiled, leaning in to slide his hands across Gordon’s back, earning a steady sigh from the other. </p><p>Gentle, he worked the knots out of the shoulder’s muscle, slowly digging his knuckles into the worst bits. He sunk his thumbs into the appropriate pressure points, letting Gordon’s arm finally relax.</p><p>“Better?” </p><p>“Hm- yeah.” Gordon smiled back at him, green eyes softer than before. “You were right about being good at that.” </p><p>“Too many ASMR massage binges at 3 am, bro.” Gordon chuckled at that, leaning back into Benrey. </p><p>The guard let him stay there, wrapping his left arm around Gordon, who held it warmly. </p><p>Gordon didn’t have any more night terrors that night.</p>
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